This is probably the most emotional blog I have ever written, and I have gone back and forth on whether or not to share it. Even had I said nope, I still would’ve kept it in draft status as a gentle reminder so I can remember what went down. I have an entry for my colonoscopy in draft status from July of 2023 , as I don’t think anybody wants to read about my experiences before, during, and after, but I will say all is good. I am a writer; of course I am going to write about these things. Look at all of the blogs I wrote during the time Niko was born (May of 2016).
You may want to get some tissues, because my story may make you sad and cry. And that is perfectly ok. What happened to me sucked and I cried a lot, and I hope it never happens again to me.
One of the main reasons I walk every day now is because on Thursday, December 5th, 2024, I had a heart attack. I didn’t post about it. No announcement, no press release. I kept it to myself—just my family, Nina’s family, and my boss at work. I wasn’t looking for sympathy or the usual “I’m sorry”. I told the world I had emergency surgery (that was the truth), just not anything more. I wasn’t ready at that time. I was not blaming myself or depressed about it.
I have heard that after a heart attack, some people can become depressed. Not me. And if I have any depression symptoms, I will talk to somebody. I won’t hide from it. I do belong to some support groups.
I was in the hospital for three days. They were scary and I cried a lot. There’s something about being hooked up to machines and hearing words like “cardiac event” and “stent” that makes everything feel fragile—because it is. I was overwhelmed, grateful, afraid, and emotional in a way I had never felt.
It’s really tragic that in the past few weeks, some celebrities have died due to cardiac arrest. Could’ve been me.
A a few days before Thanksgiving, we sold our house, and we moved out on December 16, 2024. A lot happened during that time:
- Nina was sick.
- Niko was sick and had to visit an urgent care clinic.
- I was sick.
- The buyers scheduled the inspection for Wednesday, November 20, 2024, but Niko and I were still recovering.
- Niko suffered a scratch on his cornea and had to see an ophthalmologist and a pediatric eye specialist.
And then, December 5, 2024 — came the heart attack. I woke up around 3 am, with chest pain, headache, and sweats. Classic symptoms, right? I know it wasn’t stress related. I was actually getting out of breath quickly since about mid-October in 2024 and was more fatigued. Nina and I thought it was because I am older and out-of-shape as well as an ENT who I was seeing at that time. I really was planning to see a cardiologist in the new year after we moved. Well, shit happens.
I drove myself to a 24/7 urgent care emergency clinic. I should’ve listened to Nina and had her call an ambulance, but was adamant that I didn’t want that. It was a slow drive, and I was crying in the car. Once I arrived, they took me in immediately. The EKG was normal, but my blood had elevated levels of troponin which indicates heart damage. I was already feeling better, but was not out of the woods. I was transported by an ambulance to Methodist Texsan, one of the top heart hospitals in the state of Texas.
During my hospitalization, I asked Nina to wash my blankets, pillow cases, and sheets so when I would be home, I would have clean bedding. Those first few days and weeks, I was taken care of by Nina. She was my calm, my nurse, my chef, my everything.
I went back to work just two days after coming home, and Nina was mad at me for not resting more. I worked a couple of hours, and then logged out and took a long nap. That became my pattern for the first few weeks. Wake, work, rest, repeat. Healing takes time.
I am now the proud owner of two stents – one in the RCA and the other in the LAD (also known as “The Widowmaker”). I am very relieved that they didn’t have to do open heart surgery on me. One stent was placed on Thursday and the other on Friday. It was the same crew in the Cath Lab, and I knew I was in the best hands as they do this daily. I thought I was going home on Friday as that is what I thought I heard the doctors mention, but then again, I was full of drugs.
The most pain I had was in my groin where they made the incision, and they used that incision for both surgeries. On Thursday after the stent was inserted, I had 6 hours of bed rest, which basically means I couldn’t move my right leg. It was a struggle, and when I had to pee, a nurse helped me with a bed urinal. During that time, I was provided dinner as I hadn’t had anything since the night before, and somehow, I ate a piece of chicken with bones (I don’t remember anything else that came with it, but I ate every piece of meat) while I was lying flat on bed rest. Try that! When I was being wheeled out of my room to the operating room, I started to cry again as I had no clue what to expect or what would happen. I don’t think Nina saw it, but I did tell her later on.
On Friday, it was 4 hours of bed rest and Nina was there to feed me lunch and help me pee (I only got a little bit on her – pee that is). She only spilled a few pieces of food on me.
I was a fall risk, and after the bed rest ended, I had to call a nurse every time I had to pee or walk around the floor. You don’t know how free I felt after the fall risk was removed as well as being unplugged from all the monitors and IVs.
I am so damn thankful for the staff at the 24/7 emergency clinic, the ambulance driver and the gentleman in the back with me, and everybody at the hospital. I was so appreciative of everybody helping me.
Recovery was three months of cardiac rehab—January through March, three days a week. I spent time on the treadmill, pedaled bikes with either my legs or arms, lifted weights, and did a lot of stretching. They have a lot of equipment and the staff is very helpful on using them as well as making sure everybody is working gently. They monitor heart, weight, and blood pressure. I am glad that on my first day, I had one of the rehab nurses showing me how to do everything correctly (stretches and weights, especially). I didn’t love the morning drive—traffic was rough—but I didn’t mind too much, because it helped me become more efficient with exercise.
I was the youngest person in rehab (one was 87, and I was 47), which felt a little weird at first, but honestly, it motivated me. Watching the older folks show up and put in the work reminded me not to complain—just show up and do it. Once rehab ended, I transitioned to doing walks, weights, and stretching at home. In a few weeks, we will probably be joining a nearby community center where they have in indoor pool for Nina and Niko, and a large assortment of fitness machines for me. I may even work with a trainer to get a new regiment started.
Walking outside has become one of my favorite things. I like the smells, the sounds, and the quiet. I sing out loud sometimes. I take pictures of sunrises, lakes, flowers, trees, shadows, clouds—whatever I think looks beautiful. Our new house in Minnesota has a walking trail behind it and beyond that is a lake/swamp so nobody will ever build there. Those two reasons along with location was why we chose that house.
I’ve also changed how I eat. I gave up beef immediately after the heart attack. Since then, I’ve only had it a few times—one steak at The Longhorn Steakhouse in March, and a cheeseburger last weekend. I don’t miss it. I tell myself: only on special occasions. I am eating more fruits and vegetables. One area where I struggled was sweets. But a few weeks ago, I made a decision and stopped eating sweets. I tell myself: only on special occasions.
Next week, I am seeing a new Cardiologist in MN. I am already established with a new primary care physician to help me manage my medications – three of them are for my heart.
Most importantly: I’m doing really well. I feel great. I have more energy, more awareness of what my body needs, and a deeper appreciation for life itself. The fear that marked those hospital days hasn’t disappeared entirely, but it’s been replaced by something stronger—gratitude. Every step I take now isn’t just for fitness. It’s a quiet, steady reminder that I’m not going anywhere and I need to keep on doing it.
Below is a slideshow of some photos I have taken on my walks.
