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Thoughts upon purchasing the Moana soundtrack

Posted on 04/18/201804/20/2025 by Nina Darnowsky
  1. Moana doesn’t actually sing very much.
  2. Niko likes it best when Moana sings.
  3. Moana is so earnest I want to gag.
  4. He won’t let me sing along.
  5. He doesn’t like my favorite song. Perhaps he’s distressed Mama identifies more with the crab than the heroine.
  6. Every time I hear the “You’re Welcome” song I think about the deep feelings Emily Writes has for Dwayne The Rock Johnson.
  7. I wonder how much it’s going to blow his mind when I give him his Moana doll in two weeks for his birthday.
  8. I wonder how long it will take for the batteries in the Moana doll to wear out.
  9. It must be nice to wear a tube top that magically stays in place even when swimming and pulling on ropes and almost being eaten by a gigantic crab.
  10. Pua always reminds me of the Humahumanukunukuapua’a, which took me two weeks to learn to say.
  11. I should have spent that time at the beach instead, but I needed the credit. Maybe I could’ve worked on swimming in a tube top.
  12. Like Moana, I also wanted off that island.
  13. I wonder if the Moana doll will end up being Niko’s first official lovey and I’ll have to buy three more so I can have them in reserve for when he inevitably throws this one out the car window/in the Grand Canyon/behind the sofa and I don’t feel like bending over.
  14. Niko can scream really loud. I’ll probably end up bending over.
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Hi, I am Mark. I started writing in 2011 about high school football, daddy blogging since 2015, and reviewing books since 2023. My writing style is unique, my sense of humor is a little crazy, and I’m not embarrassed to share any of it. You can email me at thedadspeaks@icloud.com.

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