I am very thankful that I have a full time job with benefits (with the most important being health insurance for my family) and I am able to support my family (my wife is a stay-at-home mom) and provide them with whatever they need.
If my job wasn’t pulling in enough to support my family, I would do what many Americans (and probably working dads) do: get another job. It would really suck because I would probably come home, eat a quick dinner, and say good night to Nina and Niko. But I would do it without complaining. I worked for the San Antonio Express as a Customer Service Representative and, one very early morning, I got to go to one of the warehouses near the San Antonio airport and watch the carriers assemble the newspaper. I didn’t expect to see families working together while the kids slept! I think it pays well and the hours are something like 1am to 6 or 7am. Not that I am thinking about it. I don’t know what type of job I would look at if I had to do it (definitely not in a restaurant or retail).
Another benefit that I get at work is paid time off (vacation, personal days, sick days and lots of bank holidays) and my boss is very accommodating with my requests. The year when Niko was born, Chase changed the paternity leave from 1 week to 2 weeks (still not enough time). But I also used 2 weeks of my vacation (so 4 weeks off, but I would’ve loved a lot more). As for sick time, for the past few years, I have used the majority of it to take care of Nina and I am perfectly OK with that because I enjoy being Nurse Mark to Nina. I really spoil her! I think I have only used 2 or 3 real sick days (as compared to pre-planned sick days) for myself.
Right now, at my full time job, we have overtime available, and even though the extra money would be very nice for us, I don’t do any of it because I want to be home with my wife and son.
If I had the opportunity to work full time from home in my current position, I would jump at that. Although, I would be a little less efficient because I would easily get distracted at home with Nina, Franklin cat (he is loud) and of course the baby!
I am also thankful that Nina and Niko are able to visit me at work. It’s not like I work for the government and I can’t tell anybody what I do for a living. It’s also not like I work on the phones (I used to). It’s not like I work at a Chase branch where we constantly have customers coming in to do their banking. No, I work for Chase bank in the Unclaimed Property department and Nina knows most of my co-workers (she used to work in another department at Chase; she actually started on the same day I did). Most of my coworkers in my area are working diligently while listening to something (I choose podcasts)! When my family does visit me, I grin from ear to ear and am happy to carry Niko around and show him off to everybody. A baby brings smiles from everybody. And they are all say he looks like me!
Even when Nina and Niko don’t come to visit me (they only come every few months), I show my sister-wives (my Unclaimed Property department coworkers are all ladies) pictures and videos of Niko.
Yes, my work days are long. I am usually awake around 6am (sometimes earlier if Niko gets up) and I have to leave at 6:30am to be at work at 7:30am and I am usually home around 4:45pm. I truly miss Nina, Niko and Franklin cat (even if he is meowing LOUD for something when I am getting ready to leave). Franklin has food, water, and clean kitty litter boxes; he probably wants someone to pay attention to him because he is shut out of our bedroom and Niko’s room during the day and night. But don’t worry about him and don’t even think of calling animal control because he gets the most sleep out of all us and he has many comfy warm places to get fur on!
When I arrive home from work, I don’t even change my clothes. I want to spend as much time as possible with Niko (and Nina also). It gives me great pleasure to feed him his dinner (I get to eat also), play with him, shower him, put his pajamas on, and eventually put him in the crib for sleeping.
If Nina did get a full time job that pays at least what I make (or even more) and I had the chance to be a stay-at-home dad, I would do it. Just a few weeks ago, Nina got a job that she can do from home (15 hours a week) on top of being a full time Niko wrangler. The extra money will be nice for us and I will make sure she gets time to work.
I am not a demanding working dad who expects to have everything perfect and completed when I get home. I am very laid back; I love my family and have a don’t-care attitude about most things in life.
If there is a hot meal waiting for me prepared by my wife, awesome. I will say that it is always nice when she cooks for me because it is one less thing I have to worry about. She sure does enjoy cooking and baking and I take pride in eating! I always clean up the kitchen (without complaining) after her. If not, it isn’t the end of the world. I am 39 years old and have full access to a refrigerator, a chest freezer, two pantries, a stove, an oven, a microwave, an assortment of pots and pans, plates and bowls, and every kind of utensil you can possibly think of. Basically, I can cook for myself if need be. A few weeks before Niko was born, Nina made a lot of food and we froze all of it. I must admit, it was very nice knowing we had food, because, with a newborn baby, we couldn’t even think about cooking fresh food daily.
If we don’t have stuff to eat, I can always get something on the way home. I pass a lot of fast food, drug stores, convenience stores and supermarkets. Yes, I have purchased food at drug stores and convenience stores because I don’t want to park and walk around a huge store. Or I can order takeout from one of the many restaurants nearby (my favorite is Chinese). Usually, the three of us will go grocery shopping together on the weekends. Nina says it’s easier that way. But she does do it with Niko alone if she is out and we need stuff. One of the local grocery stores has an online pick-up service available (the store is about 20 miles from where we live) and that is actually a big help for her as all she has to do is text them when she arrives and they will load up the car. Whoever thought of that, I applaud them!
It doesn’t matter if my clean clothes are put away nicely or in a laundry basket. As long as they are clean, I am fine. One thing Nina does almost every day is laundry (the baby goes through a lot of clothes and so do we). It usually takes about a week to actually fold and put everything away…because we just don’t have the time. On the weekends, when Niko is sleeping, that is a good time for me to fold and put his clothes and my clothes away. As for Nina, I fold her undies and that is all I do because I don’t know how to properly fold and hang-up woman’s clothing so hers live in the clean laundry basket.
If I need to change a diaper as soon as I get home, I will do it. I don’t care if Niko gets food, pee, or poo on my work clothes. That is what a washing machine is for. Fortunately we have a heavy-duty one.
If I have to wake up in the middle of the night to change a diaper, feed the baby, or even to cuddle with him, I will do it. I have yet to call in to work sick because of tiredness. Nina has sleep apnea so she has a CPAP machine and I would much rather me do a lot of the nighttime stuff than her. I know she wakes up when the baby makes a noise and when she feeds him, but I really want to make sure she gets sleep. Before Niko was born, I would get up in the morning and let her sleep in on the weekends.
If the house is clean or messy, I don’t care (well, just a little bit). Our house isn’t immaculate like when we were selling our old house. We don’t have a lot of room and storage and we have a lot of baby stuff everywhere. One of the things I really like about our house is our first floor is open, so, wherever we are, we can see the baby! I do tidy up when I get the chance, I always make sure the kitchen is clean, and I do the vacuuming and take out the trash.
If Nina needs to shower, I encourage her and always tell her to take her time…heck, take a bath, get some candles, have a glass of champagne, enjoy the soap bubbles and read a book. The baby and I are perfectly OK to be alone most of the time.
I also am a freelance high school sports writer and photographer (www.thestatmanspeaks.com), and on the days when I do that, I’m not home til long after Nina and Niko are sleeping. The only person awake is Franklin. Last year, I only worked a few games because I wanted to spend that time with my family. How I found time to write, I have no clue. With my daddy blogs, I find time either in the evening after Nina and Niko are sleeping, when Nina feeds him, in the mornings before work, weekend mornings when Niko is bouncing or when Niko is playing by himself.
On the weekday mornings before I leave for work, I turn into Mr. Clean! Every evening, I always tell Nina (no matter how messy the kitchen is) that I will clean everything up. It gives me great pleasure to know that when Nina and Niko come downstairs, Nina doesn’t have to worry about anything in the kitchen and she can start from a clean slate. I will tell you that our kitchen is small and we don’t have a lot of counter space, so any time I can create space and put stuff away, I do just that. In addition to that, I also am the trash collector and poo collector (for both Franklin cat and Niko).
On the weekends, I reverse roles (and it doesn’t involve cross-dressing, and if did, who cares?) so I can I give Nina a little breather as I do everything for Niko (except breastfeed him). I really enjoy the weekends though if it is a lot of work. It feels like Nina and I separated and she gets the baby on the weekdays and I get him on the weekends. Luckily that isn’t the case nor are we ever going to have to do that in reality. I really like Nina and Niko and love my life! Nothing can take that away from me. You can flirt with me all you want (ladies and gentlemen) and I will probably flirt back, but when the day is over, I just want to go home to my family.
I am fortunate that I live in the digital age, so I am constantly getting updates at work via text messaging on “The Niko Show.” I am not worried about missing anything he may do for the first time because I know Nina will send it to me if and when it happens again.
I do like the fact that Nina always keeps me updated on where they are if they go out in the world.
One of the apps on my phone is our baby camera and I watch it a lot (even sometimes when I am at work).
I enjoy being a working dad, a stay-at-home dad (sometimes), husband to an awesome lady, and have a great life.
