On Friday, September 2nd, we celebrated Niko’s 4 month birthday and my wife’s birthday (I won’t tell you how old she is because that is none of your business). All I will say is she is younger than me and I am 39. Well, Nina was having a great day, up until that afternoon, when we decided to try getting the baby to sleep in his crib on his own and not on us all night long.
Several weeks ago, we modified the IKEA crib from a crib to a toddler bed and attached it next to our bed. At that time, we were thinking it would be easy for Nina to feed the baby and then when the baby was finished, he can sleep in the crib. That didn’t work because Niko screamed LOUD!! Whatever the reason was, we didn’t try it again. But, we did get Niko to do tummy time in the crib and he liked that. That is actually nice because when he does that, we can get stuff done in the house (and most of the time, it is either doing laundry or folding laundry). Even though Niko is small, he sure does go thru a lot of clothes!!!
The method we used is called the “Ferber method” or “Ferberization”. It was recommended by our pediatricians office and Nina also did a lot of research on it.
Per Wikipedia, it is a technique invented by Dr. Richard Ferber to solve infant sleep problems. It involves “baby-training” children to self-soothe by allowing the child to cry for a predetermined amount of time before receiving external comfort.
Here is a brief summary of steps as per Wikipedia:
- Take steps to prepare the baby to sleep. This includes night-time rituals and day-time activities.
- At bedtime, leave the child in bed and leave the room.
- Return at progressively increasing intervals to comfort the baby (without picking him or her up). For example, on the first night, some scenarios call for returning first after three minutes, then after five minutes, and thereafter each ten minutes, until the baby is asleep.
- Each subsequent night, return at intervals longer than the night before. For example, the second night may call for returning first after five minutes, then after ten minutes, and thereafter each twelve minutes, until the baby is asleep.
Since this technique allows the baby to cry for an unspecified amount of time, Nina was very upset and extremely nervous by knowing this would happen and when she heard it happening, it made her cry. Hey, it is her “motherly instincts” and I love that.
On the first night, she actually had to leave the house and sit in her car till I texted her it was OK to come back. The next few nights she ran the dishwasher (it is loud) and had her headphones on to whatever she was watching at that moment so she couldn’t hear the baby crying. She did check in with me thru text messaging and even watched the baby monitor (without audio). One night, after he fell asleep, I joined Nina downstairs and it was a really strange feeling because we didn’t know what to do with ourselves!!!
Me, on the other hand am OK hearing him cry because I know it is a good thing and it will help all of us sleep better. Yes, I wanted to run in the room and hold him, but I knew if I did, it would ruin what we were trying to do. I am, however, cheering him on to fall asleep!!!
Our night-time routine that we established a few weeks ago of getting him upstairs around 7:30 pm, dressing him in his pajamas, and feeding him. After he finishes, Nina would hand him to me and he would sleep on me until he woke up hungry. This would happen a few times every night. Yes, not the best sleeping habits for Nina and I, especially me since I have to leave for work at 6:30am.
So, we started a new adjusted routine of feeding him around 7:30 pm downstairs and then I dress him in his pajamas upstairs, read a few books to him, and sing to him (off key and I make up words to popular songs). When he is very relaxed, I put him in the crib and say “sleepy time for Niko.” White noise is turned on and the lights go out.
Once I put him in the crib, I sit in his room and watch him on the baby camera (I don’t need the audio because I can hear him crying LOUD). If anything happens (where the baby needs help), I am there in a flash. I only had to that a few times….one time, he rolled over on his back and another time, I had to move him away from the pillows that were in between the crib and the bed. Every time I checked in on him, I have to move him because he rotates himself and sometimes gets his head just out of view of the camera
When the crying started, I return 5 minutes later and again say “sleepy time for Niko” and pet him very gently and reassure that everything is OK. I know he doesn’t know what is happening, but if everything I am doing stays the same, he will learn what it means. He is a very smart baby! I would repeat that until he was sleeping but I would increase the time between going in from 5 minutes to 10 minutes to 15 minutes to 20 minutes.
Once he is sleeping, Nina and I have to wait about 15 minutes before we can join him to make sure he is in a deep sleep (so we don’t wake him when we get in bed). He does eventually wake up for a feeding around midnight-ish and Nina will feed him. After he eats, Nina hands him to me and I put him back in the crib. He is so sleepy that he goes right back to sleep. The next time we hear him crying, I either grab him and allow him to sleep on me for the rest of the morning or grab him and allow him to sleep on me and then after a few minutes, I can put him back in the crib.
Here are our times:
Friday, September 2nd – In the crib at 8:21 and asleep at 9:07
Saturday, September 3rd – In the crib at 7:55 and asleep at 8:18
Sunday, September 4th – In the crib at 7:32 and asleep at 8:32 (we started too early)
Monday, September 5th – In the crib at 8:18 and asleep at 8:43
Tuesday, September 6th – In the crib at 8:27 and asleep at 8:43
Wednesday, September 7th – In the crib at 8:23 and asleep at 8:48
Thursday, September 8th – In the crib at 8:14 and asleep at 8:40
Friday, September 9th – In the crib at 8:21 and asleep at 8:45
Saturday, September 10th – In the crib at 8:25 and asleep at 9:03
Sunday, September 11th – In the crib at 8:08 and asleep at 8:16
It is absolutely amazing and very nice for us on not having Niko sleeping on us all night long. I already feel so much better and I know Niko enjoys having a lot more room to stretch out.
I will keep you updated on this and eventually, Nina will join in on putting Niko to sleep.
Once we master this, we will work on naps.
