We arrived at Methodist Specialty and Transplant hospital at 6 am…and after lots of waiting in the registration room, the surgery waiting room, the pre-op holding room, and the surgery waiting room again, at 10:45 we got the “EVERYTHING WAS OK” from the doctor. A huge sigh of relief escaped from my body when I heard that. I was nervous from the get-go.
My wife and I did have the awkward but yet extremely necessary conversation about what happens if this or that happens and we also signed a medical Power of Attorney. Thankfully, we didn’t have to go that route…and I sure was glad. We are going to have to do this again for Oscar.
The pre-op holding room is where the patient goes first to strip off all of their clothes to then slip into a very fashionable and super-comfortable hospital gown. The hospital gown really needs to be redesigned because it seriously only covers the front of your body. The clothes you changed from goes into a clear bag clearly called PERSONAL BELONGINGS. Gee, can you make it any more obvious? I was eventually allowed into this room and did my best to keep my wife and the people coming in amused (yeah, both of us have a great sense of humor). I went to an appointment the week before with my wife and all I heard was laughter from her and the office staff. The people coming in the pre-op holding room asked the same questions: What is your name?; What type of surgery are you having?,;What is your date of birth?; What medications are you taking?; Are you allergic to any medications?; and Why is your husband also wearing a hospital gown? Just kidding on that last one…I couldn’t resist!
The surgery waiting room is a fun place to people-watch and eavesdrop on conversations. I could’ve sworn I saw Elvis Presley with a very bad fake nose! I even saw a lady take a selfie wearing a disposable blue hair net and one of those mouth and nose coverings…yeah, I was confused but when she took the phone out, I completely understood. She then put those supplies in her purse…that sure would be a great Halloween costume or maybe that is how she intends to become a fake physician or nurse (hmm, always ask for ID folks because I wouldn’t want that lady operating on me)! The funny thing is they were actually available in the surgery waiting room…I am totally serious. I pretended to watch television but in reality, I was wondering quietly: what type of surgery is your spouse or friend having and did you really have to wear that outfit today?
I didn’t even want to use the bathroom in the surgery waiting room because it was in the middle of the room where everybody can see who goes in. Rather, I chose a multi-seater next to the cafeteria to do my business. The person in the next stall could’ve just came from a 4-hour surgery (just hope they finished the surgery first). You know something, I bet that happens often in the middle of surgeries! We all have to use the bathroom.
Finally, after more waiting (again in the surgery waiting room) for her to recover in the recovery room, we got a room at 2:30 pm! That is 8 ½ hours of eagerness!!
She was still pretty groggy when we got to her room but somehow aware of her surroundings. She didn’t feel like responding to me and I was OK with that (she just had surgery). So, I did what any spouse would do and that is I watched her sleep and I gave her kisses on her forehead! I stayed with her overnight and I am very glad because around midnight, she was wide awake and talkative (just like normal). I didn’t get much sleep that night because every few hours, somebody would come in the room and check her vitals or give her medication. Man, one of them even turned the lights on!
I was at the hospital from 6 am on Thursday till 8 pm on Saturday. We finally arrived home at 9 pm and I turned into Nurse Mark as I helped my wife get situated and that took about 45 minutes. She only woke me up once around 4 am for help. She couldn’t quite reach me so she pounded the bed with her fist. At first, I thought the cat was in bed or maybe it was a dream. Whatever it was, it worked cause it woke me up!
Being in the hospital after a surgery is definitely necessary, but I got to tell you that nothing beats sleeping in your own bed and using your own bathroom. Nobody turning on lights, no beeping of machines, no measuring of urine, and nobody checking your vitals or putting needles in your arms. Yeah, I could be very mean and still do those things to my wife!
The nurses and doctors who took care of my wife deserve a million bucks and a ton of recognition. They have the toughest job and not only were they catering to Nina, but also other patients.
My biggest complaint of the whole experience was the fact that I couldn’t help my wife with the pain (thank god for pain meds). I guess that is because of my CAREGIVER PERSONALITY (I took a personality test at work in 2010 and it was spot on). I always tend to place somebody else’s needs and desires before my own.
I felt horrible leaving her alone on Monday but I had to get back to work. Luckily, she was able to get in and out of bed and the bathroom on her own. As for me, I must’ve picked up a cold cause I felt like crap starting on Tuesday…basically it was a nagging cough that wouldn’t go away.
In the discharge paperwork that my wife got, one of the reminders says to avoid people with colds/flus!!! That meant she had to avoid me…or shall I say, I slept on the couch from that Tuesday thru the following Tuesday. Yeah, we make a great team. She would be in our bedroom either on the bed or in the lazy boy recliner we borrowed from my parents and I would be in the other bedroom on the couch with a very clingy kitten. Whenever I got up, I had to turn my sickness off and morph into Nurse Mark and see if she was OK and if she needed anything. I must admit, it was hard for me to care for both of us…but somehow I managed to do it.
On Wednesday, almost 2 weeks after the surgery, she called me at work and told me her she had a fever, was extremely sleepy, and her back hurt. The doctor who did the surgery advised her to go to the ER. I bolted home as quickly as I possibly could, picked her up, and drove to the ER at Methodist Specialty and Transplant Hospital.
Yeah, I was very worried. It’s my wife and I don’t want anything to happen to her…I need her healthy!
While we were in the ER we couldn’t help but overhear other patients symptoms. One was an older lady who was constipated and she was worried that when she finally did have the urge, she wouldn’t make it to the bathroom. Another was a young female who smoked marijuana and she had an allergic reaction to it…vomiting and diarrhea! The last one I heard was another young female who had hallucinations, was seeing people and words, and she also had suicidal thoughts. Man, the life’s of other people are so damn interesting and yet absolutely horrible at the same moment. Nina was the probably the most normal person in the ER!
Well, after several hours of waiting (and me being stressed and worried again) and being introduced to nurses and doctors, we learned she had an infection and that was causing all the bad reactions. That also meant she had to be admitted to the hospital again! She was discharged the following Tuesday.
Basically, what I am trying to say is my wife has been through a lot this year (surgery and pregnancy) and I like taking of her and will do anything to make sure she is happy. I always worry when she doesn’t feel OK and I can tell pretty easily by her face when that is the case.
I actually think I spoil her because I am always advising her not do anything. She is pregnant!
I don’t mind doing laundry, cleaning cat litter which I have been doing all year, changing sheets, cleaning the kitchen after I or she cooks (it makes me feel great when I cook for her). Yes, she cooks for me a lot and I always tell her how appreciative I am because nothing beats walking in the house after a long day at work and having fresh food to eat.
I can’t wait for Oscar to be born so I can take care of him and Nina. I know when Oscar is born next year, it will be a happy day full of stress, nerves, and no patience – and it may be an even longer day or night!!
Franklin the cat doesn’t need any extra help from me as he is self-contained and pees and poos in a box and drinks from a water fountain. He just wants constant attention. Has anybody seen something like a robot hand that keeps petting an animal over and over and over till the batteries die. That is what I need for Franklin.
The biggest question is, HOW WILL FRANKLIN REACT TO OSCAR? I will know soon and will definitely share it on The Daddy Diaries.
